


Final Fantasy VII Randomness

by RhapeSeuhans



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Angry Kadaj, Crack Fic, Good BF Sephiroth, Humor, Irrelevant Nanaki, M/M, Multi, Not dead Aerith, Random humor, Sinnamon roll Tifa, Vincent Is So Done, actually has a story, drunk Barret, kleptomaniac Yuffie, tsundere Cloud
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-01 13:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8626045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhapeSeuhans/pseuds/RhapeSeuhans
Summary: Aerith has created a powerful materia called Love Materia that makes people fall in love with others regardless of their age or gender, which results in something disastrous: that Sephiroth is in love with Cloud, Aerith in love with Tifa; Nanaki is irrelevant, and Deepground wants to dominate the world.





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Final Fantasy VII Randomness](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/242785) by RhapeSeuhans. 



> This is the translation of a story I wrote years ago. The story currently has more than 12 chapters, so I will try to translate periodically if I see you like it :D
> 
> And please keep in mind that English is not my native language, I did my best to translate this. Enjoy!

"Hello?" Said Tifa picking up the phone.

"Hello! I'm calling the pizza shop?"

"No. I'm sorry. Wrong number" She answered with a softly and slightly indulgent smile.

"Understood. I want five orders of pizza: one of peperoni, another of anchovies without peperoni..."

"Huh?! Hey! Sir, I already told you that this isn't a pizza shop. It's a Bar..."

"... and then removes the cheese, because, you know, I'm lactose intolerant. The third pizza needs to be a hawaiian..."

"Sir, can you hear me?"

"... then removes the tomato and leaves only the cheese and the dough..."

"Hey! This is not a pizzeria!" She exclaimed, beginning to be angry.

"And then bring them to me in the Happy Meal Hello Kitty edition"

"What kind of mental retardation you have!? This isn't McDonalds either!

"Excuse me, miss." Said the person on the other side of the telephone, apparently offended. "That's not the way to talk to a customer! I will sue you!"

"Well, if you sue me, I'm going to break your pen-...! Wait a minute. I know that voice! Reno!" Tifa screamed furiously.

"Huh... No, I'm not Reno! I don't know anyone called Reno! I'm not even making a telephone joke because I'm bored...!"

"Clooooooud" Shouted the girl still holding the phone.

"Don't bother me, Tifa!" Replied the blond reluctantly while watching football sitting at the bar. "I already cleaned the bathroom, now what do you want from me?"

"Reno is bothering me again on the phone!"

"And you are telling me this because...?"

"Because I want you to calm him down on a very politically correct way"

"Give me money"

"You cannot even do me that insignificant favor?! And I still keep you and all our weird friends..."

"Hello?" Said Reno still on the line "Will someone come to beat me or something? I asked if I have to run away..."

"Don't exaggerate. We are just..." Cloud start counting with his fingers" Yuffie, Barret, Nanaki, Reeve, Caith Sith, and the indigent guy who eats from the garbage..."

"My name is Johnny" Said a voice coming out of nowhere. "And I eat from the garbage because you don't feed me!"

"I don't care about your name..."

"Oh, you know what, Cloud? I don't feeling like arguing with you right now" She said going to the bar's front door, really angry. Tifa was just leaving when she saw the redhead in a phone booth. "Reno!"

"Oh-oh..." Reno hung up the phone and ran faster than Sonic the Hedgehog, but that didn't help because Tifa easily caught him and started to hit. "AAAH! NOOO! DON'T HIT ME IN THE FACE, PLEASE! -

"Let this be a lesson for you to think it twice the next time you want to bother me!"

"HELP! SOMEONE CALL FOR ANIMAL CONTROL!" Reno was still shouting.

After a five painful minutes Tifa finished hitting him, clapping her hands satisfied and significally calmer.

"Oh, my organs..."

"Oh Reno, forvige me!" Tifa said with watery eyes "I didn't mean to hurt you that much!" Se took out her purse. "Take 10 gil and go to a hospital to get cured" She threw them on him.

"What if you just use Cure on me?" He asked weakly.

"I'm not going to waste my MP with you" She replied with a scowl and went back to the bar.

"Well, at least she left money"

The indigent guy who eats from the garbage steals the 10 gils.

"God dammit…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Everything was absolutely quiet at the Shin-Ra mansion in Nibelheim. Peace reigned in every corner of the house, until ...

"Vincent" someone shouted as they beat the door of the mansion insistently. It was ten minutes until Vincent decided to open it.

"Stop already!" He shouted and opened the door. "What do you want, Yuffie?"

"I'm sorry to have to risen you from your grave, my dear friend, but I came to sell you scout girls cookies!"

"Scout girls cookies?" Vincent asked in surprise. "Why are you selling that?"

"To buy Materia" She smiled like a good girl.

"Why don't you steal them?"

"The police have been watching me lately..."

"If I'll buy you cookies, would you let me in peace?"

"Huh... No"

Vincent slammed the door, knocking Yuffie's nose.

"Ouch!... That hurt!" She complained, rubbing her face. Yuffie shook her head and then continued. "All right! I'll leave you alone if you want!"

"How much they cost?" He asked, opening the door again.

"300 gil per box"

"300 gil?! Are you crazy or something?!"

"Nooooo! That's the cost of the Materia! -

"Wait. If you have no money for Materia, where in hell did you get that cookies?"

"I found them in Marlene's room! She's like Dora; an explorer!"

"Then I will not buy you anything..."

"Then I will not stop bothering you." She smiled defiantly.

"Then I'll introduce you to Cerberus," He said, pulling out a pistol and directing it to Yuffie right in the forehead, threatening to fire.

"Then I was about to leaving!" As she ran, the cookies fell on the floor.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Awww Tifa!"

"What's the matter, Marlene? Why are you crying?" She smiled at her tenderly, crouching down to meet Marlene's height.

"Someone stole my cookies, and they were so many! I'll not be able to get the golden scout's medal for most cookies sold anymore!"

"Don't worry about that, honey" She caressing her head. "You can still win some of the other two medals, just sell the cookies you have left"

"I have one box..."

"Oh look! Sell it to Cloud. Surely he will buy it!"

"Okay"

Marlene went to were Cloud was.

"Uncle Cloud, can you buy me this box of cookies?" She said putting her more angelic face.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Marlene. You know I don't like sweet things"

"Bu-but ... snif ... snif ... -

"Hey! Don't cry!"

"So, will you buy me the box?"

"But I don't have money…"

"Buy me the box, I tell you!"

"Hey, little girl! You don't give me orders. I'm older than you and... " Marlene kicks him. "Ouch, ouch, ouch!"

"I'm going to tell my dad that you're threatening me with hit me!"

"But I didn't do anything to you!"

"Daaaad! Uncle Cloud wants to hit me!"

"Marlene, look!" He take out a Materia of his pants. The girl was hypnotized. "Do you want this?"

"Yes, Yes!" She said while jumping.

"Get it!" He threw the Materia out the window and Marlene ran after it.

"Cloud! I told you no to give Materia to Marlene!" Tifa scolded, putting a hand on her waist.

"It was a Cure. She will not harm anyone with that"

Then they heard people screaming, siren firefighters, and cars crashing into trash cans with cats.

"What did you say, Cloud...? -

"Damn" He murmured, his eyes half-closed.

"I'm fine!" Marlene shouted from the outside.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Hahaha. My plan to make Cloud fall in love with me will start now" Said Aerith hiding behind a fence outside the bar.

"Miss, why are you talking to yourself?" Asked a street child.

"Shut up, boy! Don't bother me!"

"Miss, at least you have some gil to give me?"

"Take 5 gil and get out of here." She spread the money, frowning, not looking at him.

"Thank you! Hey ... And how do you plan to make that Cloud fall in love with you?" He asked curiously.

"Ugh! You are very curios one. But I'll tell you anyway because I'm good girl and in that way the readers don't need to wait until the next chapter... Do you see this?" From her jacket she pulled out a Pink Materia. "This is a Love Materia. I created it. This beauty can make people fall in love with whoever person, with which I will use it with my Cloud. HAHAHAHA" Aerith raised a fist in a triumphant way to the sky while laughing like maniac.

"You scared me..." Said the boy and left her.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, now that that brat is gone..." Said Aerith. "I can start my plan today! I'm craving to see Tifa's face when she see how Cloud falls in love with me! HAHAHAHAHA...cough... cough." She started to cough from laughing so much.

"Hiiiii Aerith!" Yuffie greeted her, magically appearing from nowhere. "I haven't seen you for a long time! I thought you were dead."

"Aaah!... Yuffie. You frighted me..." Aerith put a hand on her chest.

"Hey Aerith! What have you been up to?"

"Huh... But we saw each other during breakfast..."

"Oh! What you have there?!" Yuffie asked snatching the pink materia from her hands.

"Hey! Give it back!" Aerith tried to catch Yuffie but she jumped on the fence.

"Wow! What a strange materia is this! It's pink... I wonder what kind of effect it will have..." She asked to herself in loud. "I know! I'm going to trying it on someone"

"NO! Don't do it, Yuffie! Come back here! That materia is dangerous in the wrong hands!... This cannot be happening! She is going to Tifa's bar. It will ruin my plans. I have to stop her soon!" Aertih said and ran after her.

"Miss! Stop talking to yourself!" Shouted the indigent guy who... huh, I mean, Johnny.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

"Did you bring me what I told you?" Asked Rufus in his wheelchair, covered by a white blanket.

"No, we're sorry, sir. The bakery didn't have churros." Said Elena.

"Damn! What about the donuts?"

"Oh, yes. Here they are." She said giving him the bag with donuts.

"Good job." He recieved the bag and took a donut. "Also, did you got the information about that mysterious organization?"

"Which one?" Asked Tseng, somewhat confused. "Organization XII, Akatsuki, Coca-Cola, or Deepground?"

"Deepground."

"Let's see..." The leader of the Turks said reading a notepad "Deepground... they are an old and dangerous military organization, but it seems that currently only exists the elite group 'Tsviets' with five active members. Unfortunately, we still don't know who they are or what are their purposes. Internet didn't give us much information."

"Hmm... Better keep investigating." Said Rufus with a serius face. "These guys have been kidnapping people for no apparent reason and doing graffiti. By the way, where's Reno?" He asked, realizing that the redhead wasn't there.

"He's in the hospital." Elena replied.

"Why?"

"He bothered Tifa... again"

"Oh, well." He shruggered.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

"Vincent! Vinceeeent!" He shouted as he knocking at the door of the mansion with both fists.

"What?!" Vincent opened the door to look out. "First Yuffie and now you, Caith Sith! What do you want?"

"I need your help!"

"My help? For what?" He asked in surprise.

"I can't open this can of tuna!" Said showing a can of cat food. "And I'm very hungry!"

"That's why you are bother me!?" Vincent closed the door.

"Hey, wait! It wasn't just for that!" The cat said knocking at the door again.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

"Cloud, Cloud! Throw the stick, please, please!" Said Nanaki while jumping with excitement.

"No. I don't wanna play right now" He said as he flipped through a motorcycle magazine.

"Please!" Nanaki said, leaving the stick on the table and began to moan with big, tender eyes, which no one would be able to resist him.

"Aww... All right. But only once."

"Yes! Throw it, throw it!"

Cloud threw the stick and Nanaki ran after it... Strangely, Marlene went after the stick too.

"That was weird..." He ignored it and continued reading.

"Tifa, give me another beer!" Barret demanded, hitting the table with the glass.

"No, Barret. You just had one beer and you're already drunk."

"Don't bother me, woman! I paying you!"

"You don't pay me! In fact…. I supports you!" She said offended. "And, if I want to, I can get you kicked out of here."

"As you say, woman. You're an exaggerated... hic!"

"You're a bad father, Barret." Cloud reproached him, looking at him with a mean stare. "You are spoiling Marlene because of your drinking habit and you obssesion for shooting range weapons..."

"You shut up, you effeminate emo" He said pointing his gun-hand to the blond. "I am a good father! Hic!"

"O-okay!" Said Cloud trembling with fear. "Just-just... put down that weapon..."

"Say I'm a good father! Say it!" Barret threw himself on the floor and began to cry in the fetal position. "Tifa! Tell him I'm a good father."

"Huh... Sure, Barret, sure... Hey, what's that music in the background?"

"Hmm ... It's just Sephiroth's song..." Said Cloud thoughtful. "Which means... HE IS HERE!" He shouted alarmed.

"That's right!" Said Sephiroth through the front door. "Cloud. I've come to challenge you to a fight to the death." He drew his sword and point it so close that it was only a matter of millimeters to cut Cloud's forehead.

"Don't put that thing on my face..." He said a little intimidated.

"Oh no. You are not going to fight here!" Tifa put aside the sword with her fist. "If you break something, you two will gonna pay for it. So better get out!"

"Hmm ... All right. You heard her. Let's go outside and fight." He ordered to the blond.

"Could you wait till I finish reading my magazine?"

"…OK. But do it quickly" He sheathed Masamune and sat at the other side of the table to face his opponent and wait for him.

One moment later…

"Are you done?" Asked Sephiroth, bored and tapping the table with his fingers.

"Not yet." Cloud answered without even looking at him.

Another one moment later...

"I finished!" He shouted, causing the silver haired man to wake up startled.

"Oh? What?" He rubbed his eyes. "All right then... Let us begin our obligatory battle to the death."

"But why it has to be obligatory... and to the death?" Cloud asked a little worried.

"Because you are the good guy and I am the bad guy!" Sephiroth began to explain. "The good guy and the bad guy must always have a super epic battle to the dead to see who is the best. Besides, I'm bored and I feel like fighting. Did you understood?"

"Sounds about right..."

Now the super epic battle to the death was about to begin.

They drew their swords and gave to each other a defiant and menacing glances of mutual hatred, trying to gain a significant advantage after intimidating their adversary, but neither of they would yield so easily.

Tifa was about to fulfill her word and get them out to fight outside, until she realized the glances duel was going to long...

One, two, five; ten minutes the stare contest lasted, and ended because Barret couldn't avoid sneezing and thus broke the drama.

"... Hey, are we going to fight now?" Cloud asked, somewhat impatiently and shakily for standing in the same pose for a long time.

"Oh, yes. Of course. Let's start"

Just finish the sentence, Sephiroth gave the first thrust. Cloud succeful cover himseflt and then repelled the attack, and when he was about to strike Sephiroth, he disappeared...

Cloud turned around, bewildered. But he could see only Barret (Tifa had gone for more beer during the stare contest) asleep on the floor and muttering something about how great the Teletubbies are; And suddenly, making the mistake of lowering his guard, Sephiroth appeared behind him ready to piercing him with his katana.

"Watch out, Cloud!" Shouted Yuffie entering the bar.

Thanks to the warning, Cloud managed to avoid it and then the ninja girl took the opportunity to find out how the pink materia would work by throwing it at Sephiroth right in the face. A mist of smoke surrounded him.

"I told you not to fight inside!" Exclaimed Tifa when she returned, then noticed the silver haired man lying on the floor. "Oh, my God! You killed him!" She said horrified. "Get the body out of here!"

"Yay! I killed Sephiroth! The great Yuffie Kisaragi always saves the day!" She said jumping with joy. "I want a prize!"

"Wait! I'm supposed to be the one who beat him!" Cloud said annoyed and knelt beside Sephiroth to try to wake him. "By the way, Yuffie, where did you get that materia that you threw at him? Is it pink? -

"I found it."

"That's not true!" Said Aerith appearing out of nowhere. "You stole it from me!"

"Did I mention that I omitted some details?"

"A-Aerith!" Said Tifa as if she had seen a ghost. "We thought you were dead!"

"True!" Said Cloud in the same state of shock.

"B-but, why? I just disappear for a minute and everyone thinks I'm dead?! I had breakfast with all of you today, don't you remember?"

"No." They all said in unison, except Barret witch was still sleeping.

Aerith drop her head as a blue aura surrounded her.

"That hurt ..." Sephiroth muttered, putting a hand to his face.

"Aww. I didn't kill him..." Yuffie flicked her fingers."The pink materia didn't kill him. Then how it's works?"

"Don't tell me... you used the pink materia against him!" Aerith screamed, starting to get really worried.

"Then I won't tell you." Replied Yuffie.

"Hey, are you okay?" Cloud asked to Sephiroth. "If you want, we can leave the epic battle for later..."

"I..." Sephiroth tried to speak, but he was still confused by the effect the materia had on him.

"Cloud, get away from him! He is dangerous!"

"Tell me something that I don't know, Aerith." He replied with half-closed eyes.

"No, you idiot! I didn't mean dangerous like 'I'm going to kill you'!"

"Then stop bother...!" Cloud didn't finish his sentence because he felt who someone took one of his hands. He immediately turned to meet Sephiroth's gaze looking at him with a strange gleam in his eyes. "S-Sephiroth?"

"Cloud... You're so cute!" He said, cupping his cheeks.

"What?!"

Cloud and the girls blushed.


	3. Chapter 3

"I can explain it." Aerith said apologetically.

"Well, then start by explaining what kind of materia is that and why had that efect on Sephiroth!" Cloud demanded angrily as he tried to get out of the man's arms.

"Yeah..." Said Tifa, putting a hand on her chin. "Sephiroth acts weird. It's like...it's like he's..."

"He's in love with Cloud!" Yuffie yelled with shiny eyes.

"Exactly!... Wait, that's not good!"

"Ok, I'll tell you." The brunette sighs. "The materia with which Yuffie hit Sephiroth is called Love Materia. Using it against someone, you will make them fall in love with the first person they see... I know his because I created it."

"Aerith! How could you create such a thing?" Exclaimed the blond angrier. "If you like someone, why not flirt or bake cakes for him, or something more normal instead of using materias!?"

"I've already done it but it looks like you're blind!" Cloud looked at her oddly. Then she realized what she said and then laughed nervously. "I-I mean. I already tried it, haha... but the guy I like doesn't pay attention to me, hahaha..."

"But, Aerith. Love isn't something that can be achieved through magic." Tifa began to said, trying to be comprensive. "For two people, love is something that growns trough mutual trust, respect, tolerance... Just like Cloud and I." She blushed.

"What did you say?" The silver-haired man threatened her with the Masamune.

"Brothers love, I mean! Don't get confused!" She "clarified" with a forced smile.

"Can you stop threatening my friends?" Cloud asked with half-closed eyes..

"All right, Cloud." Sephiroth smiled like a good boy. "From now on, I'll not going to do anything that bothers you."

"Seriously?" Said surprised. "You mean you will stop beating me, insulting me, sending me bomb letters, stepping on the church's flowers, and hiding the TV control?"

"Yup."

"And you will also stop killing people and destroying whole cities?" He said looking at him with charming eyes, trying to taking advantage of the fact that he knew that Sephiroth would do anything for him in his current status.

Sephiroth thought it for a while.

"Okay."

"Great!"

"But with one condition; let me kiss you" He said, dangerously close to Cloud's lips, but he covered Sephiroth's mouth with both hands.

"Keep killing..."

"Aerith, this is getting worse!" Said Tifa starting to get worried. "Is there a way to reverse it?"

"I have no idea." She anwered with a shrug.

"How can you not know? You created it!"

"I know. Geez! Don't yell at me. It's just that I never thought my plan was going to fail, that's why I didn't made any antidotes." She put a hand on her chin. "But, maybe I can make one. If I experiment with the materia, perhaps I could..." She looked for the materia on the floor. "The materia?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Is not here!" Aerith exclaimed in horror.

"What do you mean it's no here?!" Tifa and Cloud shouted at once.

"Calm down, everybody! I'm sure it fell around here." Yuffie said, looking around.

"Don't make that much noise, dammit! My head really hurts." Said a moody Barret, just waking up from the floor. He rubbed his eyes and looked oddly at Cloud, which, let's remember, he was being hugged by Sephiroth. "Pff... I knew you two were gay." He tilted his head in disappointed.

"I'm not gay!" Replied the blond.

"There it is!" Tifa pointed to the materia under a table. But before she could even get close, Marlene grabbed it.

"Oh, what a beautiful thing!" Said Marlene, playing without careful with the materia.

"Marlene, honey. Give that to your aunt Tifa, will you?"

"But I found it. It's mine!" She said with a tantrum and hiding the materia behind her back.

"Don't force us to take it away by force." Yuffie said in a fighting pose.

"I'll changed it to you for a dollar."

"That's not even the official coin of the game!" Cloud complained. "Barret, tell her to give it to us."

"I cannot take away a toy from my little girl."

"Let me try." Said Aerith, turning very menacingly toward Marlene. "Give me that, silly girl, or...!"

"Aaaah! A dead woman!" Cried Marlene, frightened.

"But I'm not dead..."

"Okay, dead lady, I'll give the materia to you, but please don't eat me!" She returns the Love Materia and ran out of the bar.

"Awesome! We have a ghost on our side!" Yuffie applauded.

"I'm not dead!" Aerith was about to throw the materia at the ninja, then she remembered the effects.

"It's enough." Said Tifa. "Whether Aerith is dead or not, it's not the issue right now. The important thing is to know if she can create a cure."

"Thank you, dear Tifa" The brunette said sarcastically, then sighed. "I'll go back to the church and see if I can find anything to help us..."

"All right. We'll escort you. Barret, take care of the bar."

"No problem." He said already sitting on a chair and enjoying another beer.

"Do whatever you want" Said Sephiroth. "But I doubt, whatever you do, can reverse the great love I have for him. Aren't you agreed, Cloud?"

"Yeah, right. Whatever you say." He replied sarcastically, knowing that, even if he said otherwise, the haired-silver man wouldn't understand.

"Woah, yes. I like it that way!" Yuffie said directing her cellphone to them. "The fangirls will give me a lot of money for these photos, teehehehe!"

"Yuffie!" Cloud exclaimed, unhappy that Yuffie were trying to doing business with his misfortune.

"I'll give you the half of what I'll earn." She said with a melodic and tempting tone.

"…Is this the right pose?" He hugged Sephiroth by the collar and made an extremely sensual expression for the camera.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

"Vincent! Open the door!" Said Reeve hitting the door of the Shin-Ra mansion with his fists.

"What do you want?" He asked, leaning on the other side of the door. He didn't intend to open it for any other stupid reason.

"This is serious! It's a matter of life and death.!" His voice sounded serious, so much that Vincent really felt worried. "If you don't open the door all we will die..."

The door opened.

"What is happening?"

"May I use your bathroom?" He asked, a bit embarrassed.

"WHAT?" Vincent's face broke.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. He had spent the last three hours being bothered by any individual who had gone by mistake in front of his mansion. First Yuffie, then Caith Sith, then a pizza delivery guy who got the wrong house; a drunken guy, an encyclopaedist; a priest trying to bless his house and now Reeve asking to use his bathroom. Was it bothers the poor and peaceful Vincent day?!

"Give me one good reason for not to kill you with one shot." He said apparently calmly, with Cerberus pointing at Reeve's head.

"My bladder is about to explode..." Error. Vincent prepared to pull the trigger. "I-I was joking!" He said nervously.

"So... What do you want?"

Reeve sighed, relieved. He would live the next fifty years if he didn't bother Vincent again.

"Vincent, the world needs you." Suddenly, Superman's theme sounded as background.

"Where did that music come from?" Vincent asked turning to everywhere.

"Excuse me. It's my cellphone" Said Caith Sith, who had been hiding behind Reeve all the time because Vicent had threatened him with skinning him alive if he bothered him again. "Wrong number." He smiled in fear and went back to hiding where he had been.

"...Ok. Why does the world need me?" He asked with no interest.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

"Where is our Big brother?" Asked a man with silver hair and green eyes. He looked extremely worried.

"Stop asking, Loz. You've got me fed up." A younger boy scolded him. They look similar, but his hair was shoulder length. "He left us less than an hour ago. He must be entertaining with something."

"But he said he'd be back soon." Said a third boy, but with long hair. "Maybe he's in trouble."

"Don't make jokes, Yazoo. What kind of problems could Sephiroth have?" Said the younger with mockery and a carefree tone.

"It was a guess." He replicated with a frown.

"Can we go to get him, Kadaj? Can we?" Loz asked while jumping just like a toddler (attitude that looked very strange in him because of his great height and muscular body).

"Okay. We'll going to search for him." Kadaj sighed. "And top jumping like that, you look so stupid."

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

"So...There is a highly dangerous secret organization called Deepground that kills people by whatever reason, and probably, they're are after me by for some random evil purpose..." Vincent recapitulated while he was comfortably on the couch.

"Exactly." Reeve said after sipping a bit of coffe that Caith Sith poured.

"Hmm ... And what do you want me to do?"

"Well, go and defeat Deepground." Said Caith Sith as if it were very obvious.

"No, thank you." He rose up from the couch and walked toward the stairs, intending to return to his room.

Reeve was alarmed and followed him.

"But! What about all the people who are in danger?! No one knows what Deepground are looking for. Perhaps they intend to conquer the world!"

"I don't care. As long as they don't bother me, I don't have to..." Vincent couldn't finish the sentence because there was an explosion in the lobby.

The main door had been destroyed, leaving a large hole through which a huge man (rather a beast) was able to entered the mansion without problems. After him entered a girl too.

"That's Valentine." The girl pointed at Vincent.

"We came to take you to the chief, Vincent Valentine." Said the beast man.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?... And why are you speak to me with my first and last name?"

"We're Deepground." The girl replied. "We want the Protomateria. We'll take it from you whether you're alive or dead. Go, Azul."

After said that, the beast man ran towards Vincent.

"Run!" Screamed Caith Sith, and the others two man didn't have the time to hesitate.

They hurried up the stairs, but there was nowhere else to go.

"We must jump." Vincent suggested.

"You mean jumping out the window?" Reeve asked with fear.

"That's exactly what I mean." He took Caith Sith from his head and smashed him into the glass to break the window. Then pushed Reeve before giving a very Leon Kennedy-style jump. But he didn't expect that the beast man wouldn't hesitate to jump too.

"He's too close to us!" Reeve informed, carrying an unconscious Caith Sith.

Then they heard propellers approaching them. As they looked at the sky they saw a helicopter of the Shin-Ra corporation flying overhead.

"Get in! Hurry!" Shouted Reno as he dropped a rope leadder. He was covered with bandages (Tifa's fault).

They climbed without problems, and felt relieved when they began to ascend. But Azul climbed up the stairs, tilting the helicopter dangerously because it couldn't stand his weight.

"Do something or we'll crash." Said Rude at the controls.

"Uh...Take this!" The redhead throwed a crutch against Azul and he fell to the ground, knocked out.

"So...What do you say now, Vincent?" Reeve asked, expecting a positive response.

"... I will help you save the world."


End file.
